Top 5 Weird Reasons I LOVE My Mastectomy

Getting your tits cut off sucks but so does getting Breast Cancer. Having lost my mother to cancer and being BRCA 1 positive, I decided to preventatively remove my breasts, then three days before my appointment I got the call...I had breast cancer. The little scoundrels got me before I could get them. I was angry, petrified, shocked, and completely numb. Instead of punishing my boobs, I decided to savored our last few weeks together, got them photographed, dressed them up, took them on a topless field trip to the beach. 

I can forever mourn what I "LOST", be miserable, feel scared, feel less than a woman or I can move on by embracing the NEW me. I had a skin sparing double mastectomy. My nipples are gone and in their place are four inch horizontal scars that run across each breast. Under the pects are two implants that are held up by cadaver muscle. But to my surprise, the new boobs have some amazing bonuses. Here are my TOP 5:


5. Facebook and Instagram can’t hold me back.

For Halloween, a week after my double mastectomy, I posted a topless photo of me dressed as the Bride of Frankenstein. No Nipples meant that Facebook and Instagram couldn’t censor the photo. #FreeTheNipples had a whole new meaning for me.

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4. I can go topless without being arrested.

I haven't taken full advantage of this one yet, but I have gone to the beach topless. It is a strange power knowing that you can walk down any street without a shirt. In South Florida you see a lot of women in string bikinis that barely cover their nipples. I don't have nipples. By deductive reasoning that means I don't have anything to cover up. FREEDOM! 

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3. Googly Eye Boob Puppets.

Googly eyes makes everything better and when added to my boobs, instant puppets. The four inch scars are turned into sassy little smirks. I call them the Twins. (Watch them talk in the Video)

 

2. Expanders are magnetic.

Yes, Magnetic!!! This is a special one just for the ladies with expanders in. The port in the expander is magnetic so the doctor can fill them while they are under the skin but it also means I can attach fridge magnets to them. Great party trick.

 

1. Light up Titties.

This has become my all time favorite. I show everyone, strangers, my husband's new co-workers, the entire audience at my one woman show. Take a flashlight and place it up against the skin of the boobs and BAM!!! Remember the 1980’s toy, Glow Worm? Those are now my titties. Watch the whole thing in my YouTube Video.

 

Oh, and the extra bonus…I lowered the risk of a reoccurrence of Breast Cancer. What do you love about your mastectomy? Write it in the comments below!

 

Do you like my boobs? I have to give credit to my doctors. Dr. Eli Avisar at UM did the skin sparing mastectomy and Dr. Christopher low at vapsfl.com, was my outstanding reconstructive surgeon.



It's CANCER...The Phone Call.

We are going to magically travel back in time and witness the exact moment I found out I had CANCER. Wanting to openly and honestly share the process of getting a preventative mastectomy, I filmed the phone call from my doctor -not knowing the outcome- and I am grateful I did. A life changing moment captured in all it’s overwhelmingly raw glory. It is one of those events you play over and over in your head, making it worse and worse until it eventually warps into a soul-crushing feeling of anxiety and fear. 

 

The moment I heard CANCER, the rest of the conversations felt as if I was talking to the teacher from Peanuts, Wha Wha Whaaaa. Two days later, I sat down and watched it, watched my former self crumble before my eyes. Then I stepped back and started editing it- becoming the observer- and everything changed. What I remembered and what I saw were not accurate and when I simply listened to what was said, it wasn’t as devastating as my mind made it out to be. 

Nine months later -cancer free- I want to share this video again but this time knowing how this chapter of my life ends. Knowing every character and plot twist and realizing that the waiting, the unknown, and my own MIND were the most painful parts. 

Here are the Cliffs Notes:

If you are so inspired, you can donate to help make the "I Don't Have Cancer" Documentary. http://www.gofundme.com/MyBreastChoice

A letter to my body.

My Dearest Body,

Everything is different but nothing has changed. 3 days before double mastectomy to remove cancer, captured by Andres Hernandez make-up and hair by Monica Gaviria. *Censored for my dad's sanity.

I have ignored your cries, called you names, been embarrassed by you, mistreated you, judged you, starved you, and yet still you are here-Loving me.

Now, I just asked you to do the unthinkable. I cut into you, had parts of you cut off, parts of you cut out. I poisoned you over and over for months. Every time you heal. How did I get so lucky to have you?

Body, how quickly you can change, but I find you more beautiful now than ever before. Andres Hernandez captured the transition.  

Finally, I hear your cries as I push you beyond what you are ready to handle. I see your wounds from the abuse I have inflicted upon you. I am sorry. You are the love of my life, with me since the spark of my existence on this Earth and you will be with me until my last breath. You give me unconditional love, you show up without complaining, you support me even though I don’t always support you. 

Skin sparing double mastectomy and skin expanders with a double lumen port on the right side.*Censored for my Dad's sanity. 

I have learned so much from you. You have shown me compassion and compromise. You have been my biggest example of love: quietly sustaining, always there, growing with me through every stage of my life. You show me how inherently intelligent you are and in turn I must be. I don’t know how to grow nails or hair or eyelashes, how to fill the space inside when organs are removed, but you do. You always communicate honestly and immediately. When there is something wrong, you tell me. First with a gentle tap and when I inevitable don’t listen--with a push. 

You only ever want the best for me. You only ever want me to succeed. I love you body! You are my best friend, my confidant, my lover.

You mother me and you protect me. You fight my battles. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, cherish you, hold you, caress you, kiss you, hug you, love you. You accept me and I promise from this point on to accept you. I will listen to you. I will lift you up. I will compliment you. I will feed you. I will mother you. I will protect you. After all you have done for me, this is my promise to you.

Forever in your debt,

Aniela

  • BRCA 1 +
  • Diagnosed Stage 1, Ductal Breast Cancer, ER/PR + & HER2 -, Sept. 30th, 2014
  • Skin Sparing Bilateral Mastectomy with Expanders & Sentinel Lymph node Biopsy, Oct. 24th, 2014
  • Double Lumen Port Placed for Chemo, Dec. 8th, 2014
  • 4 rounds of Adriamycin & Cytoxan, 9 rounds of Taxol, Dec. 17th, 2014 - April 13th, 2015
  • Complete Hysterectomy, Laparoscopic, May 11, 2015

Oil Pulling and Chemo

MOUTH SORES...they are like a portal to Chemo HELL, but what if they could be not just treated but prevented? Oil Pulling is the magical answer, plus its cheap and easy. 

First, I must confess my love for trying random holistic remedies which I never stick to with any regularity. Sour Sop Tea, let’s do it…one time. Drinking raw Aloe, hell yes…for a week. I never do it long enough to really see the benefits. I get distracted, am fickle, and inconsistent. But since starting chemo I have found one remedy that I have stuck to... OIL PULLING. 

I have oil pulled off and on over the last few years but I never could “Prove” that it did anything more than whiten my teeth a little. An ancient ayurvedic technique of taking oil and swishing it in your mouth for 20 minutes everyday to remove toxins from the body. Sounds like fun right? My husband refuses to even try it. To him it is a disgusting form of torture on the same level as pulling weeds and he doesn’t see why anyone would voluntarily do it.

Oil Pulling isn’t a choice for me anymore, it is something I HAVE to do. I am on chemo and one of the side effects are MOUTH SORES, an open wound that forms in your mouth. My first one showed up a week after my first chemo treatment on Christmas morning, what a gift! My internet chemo buddies told me that I could get “Magic Mouthwash” prescribed by my doctor and it would help, but tasted like crap and makes your mouth numb. So out of laziness, because I didn’t want to go to the pharmacy, I decided to try oil pulling again. By the next day my mouth was healed. Every morning since I have been oil pulling and have not had a single mouth sore now two and a half months into my treatment. 

Here is what I use:

  • 1 teaspoon Organic coconut oil

  • 3-4 drops Organic clove oil

  • 1/2 cup warm salt water (for rinsing)

I prefer coconut oil but you can also use sesame or sunflower. Costco sells “pure, unrefined, cold pressed, 100% organic extra virgin coconut oil” - with that many adjectives you know its good- in a 54oz jug for about $17. Dr. Mehta, the integrative medicine doctor at UM Sylvester, suggested that I add several drops of clove oil to my oil pulling. Clove oil and coconut oil both have antiseptic properties and the clove oil has a huge list of added benefits. Dr. Mehta also explained to me why oil pulling works, come to find out its not magic. During chemo my cells are exploding and leaving all their toxic waste floating in my body. By drinking water I flush the water soluble parts out but the fat soluble bits are stuck. With oil pulling, I give a place for those fat soluble toxins to go and then I quickly spit them out. Whahla! The magic of our bodies. 

As soon as I get out of bed I put a teaspoon of coconut oil with a few drops of clove oil in my mouth and I start gently swishing. If you are finding that your mouth is cramping up, use less oil. Then do your morning ritual, use the bathroom, make the bed, shower, feed the cats, meditate, etc. 20 minutes is the optimum time to get the full benefits and it will go by before you know it. You want to do it for a full 20 minutes. Its long enough to break through the mucus membrane and short enough not to have the toxin seep back in. Spit the oil into the trash, you don’t want to clog your drains. Then rinse with salt water. DONE.