We are going to magically travel back in time and witness the exact moment I found out I had CANCER. Wanting to openly and honestly share the process of getting a preventative mastectomy, I filmed the phone call from my doctor -not knowing the outcome- and I am grateful I did. A life changing moment captured in all it’s overwhelmingly raw glory. It is one of those events you play over and over in your head, making it worse and worse until it eventually warps into a soul-crushing feeling of anxiety and fear.
The moment I heard CANCER, the rest of the conversations felt as if I was talking to the teacher from Peanuts, Wha Wha Whaaaa. Two days later, I sat down and watched it, watched my former self crumble before my eyes. Then I stepped back and started editing it- becoming the observer- and everything changed. What I remembered and what I saw were not accurate and when I simply listened to what was said, it wasn’t as devastating as my mind made it out to be.
Nine months later -cancer free- I want to share this video again but this time knowing how this chapter of my life ends. Knowing every character and plot twist and realizing that the waiting, the unknown, and my own MIND were the most painful parts.
Here are the Cliffs Notes:
If you are so inspired, you can donate to help make the "I Don't Have Cancer" Documentary. http://www.gofundme.com/MyBreastChoice